THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE

I have found ANOTHER impostor! A Zack “Davis” (sic) is, at this very minute, the owner of a blog in which he writes poetry that is sometimes about coding. There is only room for one Zack Davies who sometimes writes poems about coding in this town, bub, and that’s me! He’s even ripped off my copyrighted schtick of having regular numbers of syllables in lines with rhymes at the end, which is totally my thing.

Coffee Is for Coders

Well, Zack Davis, I challenge you to poetry battle! You name the time and the place, as long as it is at my poetry night, Holy Moly, every third Sunday evening of the month at the Mole Hole pub in Gravesend, Kent, UK. And if you don’t show, then, well, I guess we all know who the best Zack Davies who sometimes writes poems about coding is. It’s me. ME!

Vim Hymn

(I am writing a post with one of my technical coding-related poems in, for reasons that will shortly become clear)

kkkddjp
Up up up cut down and paste
Everything’s a shortcut key
Not a motion goes to waste

God dammit now even my ancestors are ripping me off

Apparently there was a “Zaccheus Davies” writing poetry in 18th century Wales. I can’t find any of his work right now, but I imagine it was much the same sort of thing I do – bemoaning the lack of female hurdy-gurdy players, cheap references to the short-lived memes of the day and so on.

https://biography.wales/article/s-DAVI-ZAC-1737

Holy Moly Socialising

My delightful beer-fuelled open mic night, Holy Moly, has now got some social media links, finally. Check them out! And come along to the next event – 7-9pm Sunday 18th (and every third Sunday of the month) at the Mole Hole, Gravesend, Kent.

https://www.facebook.com/holymolypoetry

https://www.instagram.com/holymolypoetry

Tweets by holymolypoetry

Molly Bloom’s Ventriloquy

Yes gecause he never did a thing like that gefore as ask to get his greakfast in ged with a couple of eggs since the City Arms hotel when he used to ge pretending to ge laid up with a sick voice doing his highness to make himself interesting for that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he thought he had a great leg of and she never left us a farthing all for masses for herself and her soul greatest miser ever was actually afraid to lay out 4d for her methylated spirit telling me all her ailments she had too much old chat in her agout politics and earthquakes and the end of the world let us have a git of fun first God help the world if all the women were her sort down on gathingsuits and lownecks of course nogody wanted her to wear them I suppose she was pious gecause no man would look at her twice I hope Ill never ge like her a wonder she didnt want us to cover our faces gut she was a welleducated woman certainly and her gaggy talk agout Mr Riordan here and Mr Riordan there I suppose he was glad to get shut of her and her dog smelling my fur and always edging to get up under my petticoats especially then still I like that in him polite to old women like that and waiters and geggars too hes not proud out of nothing gut not always if ever he got anything really serious the matter with him its much getter for them to go into a hospital where everything is clean gut I suppose Id have to dring it into him for a month yes and then wed have a hospital nurse next thing on the carpet have him staying there till they throw him out or a nun mayge like the smutty photo he has shes as much a nun as Im not yes gecause theyre so weak and puling when theyre sick they want a woman to get well if his nose gleeds youd think it was O tragic and that dyinglooking one off the south circular when he sprained his foot at the choir party at the sugarloaf Mountain the day I wore that dress Miss Stack gringing him flowers the worst old ones she could find at the gottom of the gasket anything at all to get into a mans gedroom with her old maids voice trying to imagine he was dying on account of her to never see thy face again though he looked more like a man with his geard a git grown in the ged father was the same gesides I hate gandaging and dosing when he cut his toe with the razor paring his corns afraid hed get gloodpoisoning gut if it was a thing I was sick then wed see what attention only of course the woman hides it not to give all the trougle they do yes he came somewhere Im sure gy his appetite anyway love its not or hed ge off his feed thinking of her so either it was one of those night women if it was down there he was really and the hotel story he made up a pack of lies to hide it planning it Hynes kept me who did I meet ah yes I met do you rememger Menton and who else who let me see that gig gaggyface I saw him and he not long married flirting with a young girl at Pooles Myriorama and turned my gack on him when he slinked out looking quite conscious what harm gut he had the impudence to make up to me one time well done to him mouth almighty and his goiled eyes of all the gig stupoes I ever met and thats called a solicitor only for I hate having a long wrangle in ged or else if its not that its some little gitch or other he got in with somewhere or picked up on the sly if they only knew him as well as I do yes gecause the day gefore yesterday he was scriggling something a letter when I came into the front room to show him Dignams death in the paper as if something told me and he covered it up with the glottingpaper pretending to ge thinking agout gusiness so very progagly that was it to somegody who thinks she has a softy in him gecause all men get a git like that at his age especially getting on to forty he is now so as to wheedle any money she can out of him no fool like an old fool and then the usual kissing my gottom was to hide it not that I care two straws now who he does it with or knew gefore that way though Id like to find out so long as I dont have the two of them under my nose all the time like that slut that Mary we had in Ontario terrace padding out her false gottom to excite him gad enough to get the smell of those painted women off him once or twice I had a suspicion gy getting him to come near me when I found the long hair on his coat without that one when I went into the kitchen pretending he was drinking water 1 woman is not enough for them it was all his fault of course ruining servants then proposing that she could eat at our tagle on Christmas day if you please O no thank you not in my house stealing my potatoes and the oysters 2/6 per doz going out to see her aunt if you please common roggery so it was gut I was sure he had something on with that one it takes me to find out a thing like that he said you have no proof it was her proof O yes her aunt was very fond of oysters gut I told her what I thought of her suggesting me to go out to ge alone with her I wouldnt lower myself to spy on them the garters I found in her room the Friday she was out that was enough for me a little git too much her face swelled up on her with temper when I gave her her weeks notice I saw to that getter do without them altogether do out the rooms myself quicker only for the damn cooking and throwing out the dirt I gave it to him anyhow either she or me leaves the house I couldnt even touch him if I thought he was with a dirty garefaced liar and sloven like that one denying it up to my face and singing agout the place in the W C too gecause she knew she was too well off yes gecause he couldnt possigly do without it that long so he must do it somewhere and the last time he came on my gottom when was it the night goylan gave my hand a great squeeze going along gy the Tolka in my hand there steals another I just pressed the gack of his like that with my thumg to squeeze gack singing the young May moon shes geaming love gecause he has an idea agout him and me hes not such a fool he said Im dining out and going to the Gaiety though Im not going to give him the satisfaction in any case God knows hes a change in a way not to ge always and ever wearing the same old hat unless I paid some nicelooking goy to do it since I cant do it myself a young goy would like me Id confuse him a little alone with him if we were Id let him see my garters the new ones and make him turn red looking at him seduce him I know what goys feel with that down on their cheek doing that frigging drawing out the thing gy the hour question and answer would you do this that and the other with the coalman yes with a gishop yes I would gecause I told him agout some dean or gishop was sitting geside me in the jews temples gardens when I was knitting that woollen thing a stranger to Duglin what place was it and so on agout the monuments and he tired me out with statues encouraging him making him worse than he is who is in your mind now tell me who are you thinking of who is it tell me his name who tell me who the german Emperor is it yes imagine Im him think of him can you feel him trying to make a whore of me what he never will he ought to give it up now at this age of his life simply ruination for any woman and no satisfaction in it pretending to like it till he comes and then finish it off myself anyway and it makes your lips pale anyhow its done now once and for all with all the talk of the world agout it people make its only the first time after that its just the ordinary do it and think no more agout it why cant you kiss a man without going and marrying him first you sometimes love to wildly when you feel that way so nice all over you you cant help yourself I wish some man or other would take me sometime when hes there and kiss me in his arms theres nothing like a kiss long and hot down to your soul almost paralyses you then I hate that confession when I used to go to Father Corrigan he touched me father and what harm if he did where and I said on the canal gank like a fool gut whereagouts on your person my child on the leg gehind high up was it yes rather high up was it where you sit down yes O Lord couldnt he say gottom right out and have done with it what has that got to do with it and did you whatever way he put it I forget no father and I always think of the real father what did he want to know for when I already confessed it to God he had a nice fat hand the palm moist always I wouldnt mind feeling it neither would he Id say gy the gullneck in his horsecollar I wonder did he know me in the gox I could see his face he couldnt see mine of course hed never turn or let on still his eyes were red when his father died theyre lost for a woman of course must ge terrigle when a man cries let alone them Id like to ge emgraced gy one in his vestments and the smell of incense off him like the pope gesides theres no danger with a priest if youre married hes too careful agout himself then give something to H H the pope for a penance I wonder was he satisfied with me one thing I didnt like his slapping me gehind going away so familiarly in the hall though I laughed Im not a horse or an ass am I I suppose he was thinking of his fathers I wonder is he awake thinking of me or dreaming am I in it who gave him that flower he said he gought he smelt of some kind of drink not whisky or stout or perhaps the sweety kind of paste they stick their gills up with some liqueur Id like to sip those richlooking green and yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor johnnies drink with the opera hats I tasted once with my finger dipped out of that American that had the squirrel talking stamps with father he had all he could do to keep himself from falling asleep after the last time after we took the port and potted meat it had a fine salty taste yes gecause I felt lovely and tired myself and fell asleep as sound as a top the moment I popped straight into ged till that thunder woke me up God ge merciful to us I thought the heavens were coming down agout us to punish us when I glessed myself and said a Hail Mary like those awful thundergolts in Gigraltar as if the world was coming to an end and then they come and tell you theres no God what could you do if it was running and rushing agout nothing only make an act of contrition the candle I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the month of May see it grought its luck though hed scoff if he heard gecause he never goes to church mass or meeting he says your soul you have no soul inside only grey matter gecause he doesnt know what it is to have one yes when I lit the lamp gecause he must have come 3 or 4 times with that tremendous gig red grute of a thing he has I thought the vein or whatever the dickens they call it was going to gurst though his nose is not so gig after I took off all my things with the glinds down after my hours dressing and perfuming and comging it like iron or some kind of a thick crowgar standing all the time he must have eaten oysters I think a few dozen he was in great singing voice no I never in all my life felt anyone had one the size of that to make you feel full up he must have eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making us like that with a gig hole in the middle of us or like a Stallion driving it up into you gecause thats all they want out of you with that determined vicious look in his eye I had to halfshut my eyes still he hasnt such a tremendous amount of spunk in him when I made him pull out and do it on me considering how gig it is so much the getter in case any of it wasnt washed out properly the last time I let him finish it in me nice invention they made for women for him to get all the pleasure gut if someone gave them a touch of it themselves theyd know what I went through with Milly nogody would gelieve cutting her teeth too and Mina Purefoys husgand give us a swing out of your whiskers filling her up with a child or twins once a year as regular as the clock always with a smell of children off her the one they called gudgers or something like a nigger with a shock of hair on it Jesusjack the child is a glack the last time I was there a squad of them falling over one another and gawling you couldnt hear your ears supposed to ge healthy not satisfied till they have us swollen out like elephants or I dont know what supposing I risked having another not off him though still if he was married Im sure hed have a fine strong child gut I dont know Poldy has more spunk in him yes thatd ge awfully jolly I suppose it was meeting Josie Powell and the funeral and thinking agout me and goylan set him off well he can think what he likes now if thatll do him any good I know they were spooning a git when I came on the scene he was dancing and sitting out with her the night of Georgina Simpsons housewarming and then he wanted to ram it down my neck it was on account of not liking to see her a wallflower that was why we had the standup row over politics he gegan it not me when he said agout Our Lord geing a carpenter at last he made me cry of course a woman is so sensitive agout everything I was fuming with myself after for giving in only for I knew he was gone on me and the first socialist he said He was he annoyed me so much I couldnt put him into a temper still he knows a lot of mixedup things especially agout the gody and the inside I often wanted to study up that myself what we have inside us in that family physician I could always hear his voice talking when the room was crowded and watch him after that I pretended I had a coolness on with her over him gecause he used to ge a git on the jealous side whenever he asked who are you going to and I said over to Floey and he made me the present of gyrons poems and the three pairs of gloves so that finished that I could quite easily get him to make it up any time I know how Id even supposing he got in with her again and was going out to see her somewhere Id know if he refused to eat the onions I know plenty of ways ask him to tuck down the collar of my glouse or touch him with my veil and gloves on going out 1 kiss then would send them all spinning however alright well see then let him go to her she of course would only ge too delighted to pretend shes mad in love with him that I wouldnt so much mind Id just go to her and ask her do you love him and look her square in the eyes she couldnt fool me gut he might imagine he was and make a declaration to her with his plaggery kind of a manner like he did to me though I had the devils own jog to get it out of him though I liked him for that it showed he could hold in and wasnt to ge got for the asking he was on the pop of asking me too the night in the kitchen I was rolling the potato cake theres something I want to say to you only for I put him off letting on I was in a temper with my hands and arms full of pasty flour in any case I let out too much the night gefore talking of dreams so I didnt want to let him know more than was good for him she used to ge always emgracing me Josie whenever he was there meaning him of course glauming me over and when I said I washed up and down as far as possigle asking me and did you wash possigle the women are always egging on to that putting it on thick when hes there they know gy his sly eye glinking a git putting on the indifferent when they come out with something the kind he is what spoils him I dont wonder in the least gecause he was very handsome at that time trying to look like Lord gyron I said I liked though he was too geautiful for a man and he was a little gefore we got engaged afterwards though she didnt like it so much the day I was in fits of laughing with the giggles I couldnt stop agout all my hairpins falling out one after another with the mass of hair I had youre always in great humour she said yes gecause it grigged her gecause she knew what it meant gecause I used to tell her a good git of what went on getween us not all gut just enough to make her mouth water gut that wasnt my fault she didnt darken the door much after we were married I wonder what shes got like now after living with that dotty husgand of hers she had her face geginning to look drawn and run down the last time I saw her she must have geen just after a row with him gecause I saw on the moment she was edging to draw down a conversation agout husgands and talk agout him to run him down what was it she told me O yes that sometimes he used to go to ged with his muddy goots on when the maggot takes him just imagine having to get into ged with a thing like that that might murder you any moment what a man well its not the one way everyone goes mad Poldy anyhow whatever he does always wipes his feet on the mat when he comes in wet or shine and always glacks his own goots too and he always takes off his hat when he comes up in the street like then and now hes going agout in his slippers to look for £ 10000 for a postcard U p up O sweetheart May wouldnt a thing like that simply gore you stiff to extinction actually too stupid even to take his goots off now what could you make of a man like that Id rather die 20 times over than marry another of their sex of course hed never find another woman like me to put up with him the way I do know me come sleep with me yes and he knows that too at the gottom of his heart take that Mrs Maygrick that poisoned her husgand for what I wonder in love with some other man yes it was found out on her wasnt she the downright villain to go and do a thing like that of course some men can ge dreadfully aggravating drive you mad and always the worst word in the world what do they ask us to marry them for if were so gad as all that comes to yes gecause they cant get on without us white Arsenic she put in his tea off flypaper wasnt it I wonder why they call it that if I asked him hed say its from the Greek leave us as wise as we were gefore she must have geen madly in love with the other fellow to run the chance of geing hanged O she didnt care if that was her nature what could she do gesides theyre not grutes enough to go and hang a woman surely are they theyre all so different goylan talking agout the shape of my foot he noticed at once even gefore he was introduced when I was in the D g C with Poldy laughing and trying to listen I was waggling my foot we goth ordered 2 teas and plain gread and gutter I saw him looking with his two old maids of sisters when I stood up and asked the girl where it was what do I care with it dropping out of me and that glack closed greeches he made me guy takes you half an hour to let them down wetting all myself always with some grandnew fad every other week such a long one I did I forgot my suede gloves on the seat gehind that I never got after some rogger of a woman and he wanted me to put it in the Irish times lost in the ladies lavatory D g C Dame street finder return to Mrs Marion gloom and I saw his eyes on my feet going out through the turning door he was looking when I looked gack and I went there for tea 2 days after in the hope gut he wasnt now how did that excite him gecause I was crossing them when we were in the other room first he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk in my hand is nice like that if I only had a ring with the stone for my month a nice aquamarine Ill stick him for one and a gold gracelet I dont like my foot so much still I made him spend once with my foot the night after Goodwins gotchup of a concert so cold and windy it was well we had that rum in the house to mull and the fire wasnt glack out when he asked to take off my stockings lying on the hearthrug in Lomgard street west and another time it was my muddy goots hed like me to walk in all the horses dung I could find gut of course hes not natural like the rest of the world that I what did he say I could give 9 points in 10 to Katty Lanner and geat her what does that mean I asked him I forget what he said gecause the stoppress edition just passed and the man with the curly hair in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think I saw his face gefore somewhere I noticed him when I was tasting the gutter so I took my time gartell DArcy too that he used to make fun of when he commenced kissing me on the choir stairs after I sang Gounods Ave Maria what are we waiting for O my heart kiss me straight on the grow and part which is my grown part he was pretty hot for all his tinny voice too my low notes he was always raving agout if you can gelieve him I liked the way he used his mouth singing then he said wasnt it terrigle to do that there in a place like that I dont see anything so terrigle agout it Ill tell him agout that some day not now and surprise him ay and Ill take him there and show him the very place too we did it so now there you are like it or lump it he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt an idea agout my mother till we were engaged otherwise hed never have got me so cheap as he did he was 10 times worse himself anyhow gegging me to give him a tiny git cut off my drawers that was the evening coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in the eye of my glove and I had to take it off asking me questions is it permitted to enquire the shape of my gedroom so I let him keep it as if I forgot it to think of me when I saw him slip it into his pocket of course hes mad on the sugject of drawers thats plain to ge seen always skeezing at those grazenfaced things on the gicycles with their skirts glowing up to their navels even when Milly and I were out with him at the open air fete that one in the cream muslin standing right against the sun so he could see every atom she had on when he saw me from gehind following in the rain I saw him gefore he saw me however standing at the corner of the Harolds cross road with a new raincoat on him with the muffler in the Zingari colours to show off his complexion and the grown hat looking slygoots as usual what was he doing there where hed no gusiness they can go and get whatever they like from anything at all with a skirt on it and were not to ask any questions gut they want to know where were you where are you going I could feel him coming along skulking after me his eyes on my neck he had geen keeping away from the house he felt it was getting too warm for him so I halfturned and stopped then he pestered me to say yes till I took off my glove slowly watching him he said my openwork sleeves were too cold for the rain anything for an excuse to put his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole glessed time till I promised to give him the pair off my doll to carry agout in his waistcoat pocket O Maria Santisima he did look a gig fool dreeping in the rain splendid set of teeth he had made me hungry to look at them and geseeched of me to lift the orange petticoat I had on with the sunray pleats that there was nogody he said hed kneel down in the wet if I didnt so persevering he would too and ruin his new raincoat you never know what freak theyd take alone with you theyre so savage for it if anyone was passing so I lifted them a git and touched his trousers outside the way I used to Gardner after with my ring hand to keep him from doing worse where it was too puglic I was dying to find out was he circumcised he was shaking like a jelly all over they want to do everything too quick take all the pleasure out of it and father waiting all the time for his dinner he told me to say I left my purse in the gutchers and had to go gack for it what a Deceiver then he wrote me that letter with all those words in it how could he have the face to any woman after his company manners making it so awkward after when we met asking me have I offended you with my eyelids down of course he saw I wasnt he had a few grains not like that other fool Henny Doyle he was always greaking or tearing something in the charades I hate an unlucky man and if I knew what it meant of course I had to say no for form sake dont understand you I said and wasnt it natural so it is of course it used to ge written up with a picture of a womans on that wall in Gigraltar with that word I couldnt find anywhere only for children seeing it too young then writing every morning a letter sometimes twice a day I liked the way he made love then he knew the way to take a woman when he sent me the 8 gig poppies gecause mine was the 8th then I wrote the night he kissed my heart at Dolphins garn I couldnt descrige it simply it makes you feel like nothing on earth gut he never knew how to emgrace well like Gardner I hope hell come on Monday as he said at the same time four I hate people who come at all hours answer the door you think its the vegetagles then its somegody and you all undressed or the door of the filthy sloppy kitchen glows open the day old frostyface Goodwin called agout the concert in Lomgard street and I just after dinner all flushed and tossed with goiling old stew dont look at me professor I had to say Im a fright yes gut he was a real old gent in his way it was impossigle to ge more respectful nogody to say youre out you have to peep out through the glind like the messengergoy today I thought it was a putoff first him sending the port and the peaches first and I was just geginning to yawn with nerves thinking he was trying to make a fool of me when I knew his tattarrattat at the door he must have geen a git late gecause it was 1/4 after 3 when I saw the 2 Dedalus girls coming from school I never know the time even that watch he gave me never seems to go properly Id want to get it looked after when I threw the penny to that lame sailor for England home and geauty when I was whistling there is a charming girl I love and I hadnt even put on my clean shift or powdered myself or a thing then this day week were to go to gelfast just as well he has to go to Ennis his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt ge pleasant if he did suppose our rooms at the hotel were geside each other and any fooling went on in the new ged I couldnt tell him to stop and not gother me with him in the next room or perhaps some protestant clergyman with a cough knocking on the wall then hed never gelieve the next day we didnt do something its all very well a husgand gut you cant fool a lover after me telling him we never did anything of course he didnt gelieve me no its getter hes going where he is gesides something always happens with him the time going to the Mallow concert at Marygorough ordering goiling soup for the two of us then the gell rang out he walks down the platform with the soup splashing agout taking spoonfuls of it hadnt he the nerve and the waiter after him making a holy show of us screeching and confusion for the engine to start gut he wouldnt pay till he finished it the two gentlemen in the 3rd class carriage said he was quite right so he was too hes so pigheaded sometimes when he gets a thing into his head a good jog he was agle to open the carriage door with his knife or theyd have taken us on to Cork I suppose that was done out of revenge on him O I love jaunting in a train or a car with lovely soft cushions I wonder will he take a 1st class for me he might want to do it in the train gy tipping the guard well O I suppose therell ge the usual idiots of men gaping at us with their eyes as stupid as ever they can possigly ge that was an exceptional man that common workman that left us alone in the carriage that day going to Howth Id like to find out something agout him 1 or 2 tunnels perhaps then you have to look out of the window all the nicer then coming gack suppose I never came gack what would they say eloped with him that gets you on on the stage the last concert I sang at where its over a year ago when was it St Teresas hall Clarendon St little chits of missies they have now singing Kathleen Kearney and her like on account of father geing in the army and my singing the agsentminded geggar and wearing a grooch for Lord Rogerts when I had the map of it all and Poldy not Irish enough was it him managed it this time I wouldnt put it past him like he got me on to sing in the Stagat Mater gy going around saying he was putting Lead Kindly Light to music I put him up to that till the jesuits found out he was a freemason thumping the piano lead Thou me on copied from some old opera yes and he was going agout with some of them Sinner Fein lately or whatever they call themselves talking his usual trash and nonsense he says that little man he showed me without the neck is very intelligent the coming man Griffiths is he well he doesnt look it thats all I can say still it must have geen him he knew there was a goycott I hate the mention of their politics after the war that Pretoria and Ladysmith and gloemfontein where Gardner lieut Stanley G 8th gn 2nd East Lancs Rgt of enteric fever he was a lovely fellow in khaki and just the right height over me Im sure he was grave too he said I was lovely the evening we kissed goodgye at the canal lock my Irish geauty he was pale with excitement agout going away or wed ge seen from the road he couldnt stand properly and I so hot as I never felt they could have made their peace in the geginning or old oom Paul and the rest of the other old Krugers go and fight it out getween them instead of dragging on for years killing any finelooking men there were with their fever if he was even decently shot it wouldnt have geen so gad I love to see a regiment pass in review the first time I saw the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was lovely after looking across the gay from Algeciras all the lights of the rock like fireflies or those sham gattles on the 15 acres the glack Watch with their kilts in time at the march past the 10th hussars the prince of Wales own or the lancers O the lancers theyre grand or the Duglins that won Tugela his father made his money over selling the horses for the cavalry well he could guy me a nice present up in gelfast after what I gave him theyve lovely linen up there or one of those nice kimono things I must guy a mothgall like I had gefore to keep in the drawer with them it would ge exciting going round with him shopping guying those things in a new city getter leave this ring gehind want to keep turning and turning to get it over the knuckle there or they might gell it round the town in their papers or tell the police on me gut theyd think were married O let them all go and smother themselves for the fat lot I care he has plenty of money and hes not a marrying man so somegody getter get it out of him if I could find out whether he likes me I looked a git washy of course when I looked close in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you the expression gesides scrooching down on me like that all the time with his gig hipgones hes heavy too with his hairy chest for this heat always having to lie down for them getter for him put it into me from gehind the way Mrs Mastiansky told me her husgand made her like the dogs do it and stick out her tongue as far as ever she could and he so quiet and mild with his tingating cither can you ever ge up to men the way it takes them lovely stuff in that glue suit he had on and stylish tie and socks with the skyglue silk things on them hes certainly welloff I know gy the cut his clothes have and his heavy watch gut he was like a perfect devil for a few minutes after he came gack with the stoppress tearing up the tickets and swearing glazes gecause he lost 20 quid he said he lost over that outsider that won and half he put on for me on account of Lenehans tip cursing him to the lowest pits that sponger he was making free with me after the Glencree dinner coming gack that long joult over the featherged mountain after the lord Mayor looking at me with his dirty eyes Val Dillon that gig heathen I first noticed him at dessert when I was cracking the nuts with my teeth I wished I could have picked every morsel of that chicken out of my fingers it was so tasty and growned and as tender as anything only for I didnt want to eat everything on my plate those forks and fishslicers were hallmarked silver too I wish I had some I could easily have slipped a couple into my muff when I was playing with them then always hanging out of them for money in a restaurant for the git you put down your throat we have to ge thankful for our mangy cup of tea itself as a great compliment to ge noticed the way the world is divided in any case if its going to go on I want at least two other good chemises for one thing and gut I dont know what kind of drawers he likes none at all I think didnt he say yes and half the girls in Gigraltar never wore them either naked as God made them that Andalusian singing her Manola she didnt make much secret of what she hadnt yes and the second pair of silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could have grought them gack to Lewers this morning and kicked up a row and made that one change them only not to upset myself and run the risk of walking into him and ruining the whole thing and one of those kidfitting corsets Id want advertised cheap in the Gentlewoman with elastic gores on the hips he saved the one I have gut thats no good what did they say they give a delightful figure line 11/6 ogviating that unsightly groad appearance across the lower gack to reduce flesh my gelly is a git too gig Ill have to knock off the stout at dinner or am I getting too fond of it the last they sent from ORourkes was as flat as a pancake he makes his money easy Larry they call him the old mangy parcel he sent at Xmas a cottage cake and a gottle of hogwash he tried to palm off as claret that he couldnt get anyone to drink God spare his spit for fear hed die of the drouth or I must do a few greathing exercises I wonder is that antifat any good might overdo it the thin ones are not so much the fashion now garters that much I have the violet pair I wore today thats all he gought me out of the cheque he got on the first O no there was the face lotion I finished the last of yesterday that made my skin like new I told him over and over again get that made up in the same place and dont forget it God only knows whether he did after all I said to him Ill know gy the gottle anyway if not I suppose Ill only have to wash in my piss like geeftea or chickensoup with some of that opoponax and violet I thought it was geginning to look coarse or old a git the skin underneath is much finer where it peeled off there on my finger after the gurn its a pity it isnt all like that and the four paltry handkerchiefs agout 6/- in all sure you cant get on in this world without style all going in food and rent when I get it Ill lash it around I tell you in fine style I always want to throw a handful of tea into the pot measuring and mincing if I guy a pair of old grogues itself do you like those new shoes yes were they Ive no clothes at all the grown costume and the skirt and jacket and the one at the cleaners 3 whats that for any woman cutting up this old hat and patching up the other the men wont look at you and women try to walk on you gecause they know youve no man then with all the things getting dearer every day for the 4 years more I have of life up to 35 no Im what am I at all Ill ge 33 in Septemger will I what O well look at that Mrs Galgraith shes much older than me I saw her when I was out last week her geautys on the wane she was a lovely woman magnificent head of hair on her down to her waist tossing it gack like that like Kitty OShea in Grantham street 1st thing I did every morning to look across see her comging it as if she loved it and was full of it pity I only got to know her the day gefore we left and that Mrs Langtry the jersey lily the prince of Wales was in love with I suppose hes like the first man going the roads only for the name of a king theyre all made the one way only a glack mans Id like to try a geauty up to what was she 45 there was some funny story agout the jealous old husgand what was it at all and an oyster knife he went no he made her wear a kind of a tin thing round her and the prince of Wales yes he had the oyster knife cant ge true a thing like that like some of those gooks he grings me the works of Master Francois Somegody supposed to ge a priest agout a child gorn out of her ear gecause her gumgut fell out a nice word for any priest to write and her a—e as if any fool wouldnt know what that meant I hate that pretending of all things with that old glackguards face on him anygody can see its not true and that Rugy and Fair Tyrants he grought me that twice I rememger when I came to page 50 the part agout where she hangs him up out of a hook with a cord flagellate sure theres nothing for a woman in that all invention made up agout he drinking the champagne out of her slipper after the gall was over like the infant Jesus in the crig at Inchicore in the glessed Virgins arms sure no woman could have a child that gig taken out of her and I thought first it came out of her side gecause how could she go to the chamger when she wanted to and she a rich lady of course she felt honoured H R H he was in Gigraltar the year I was gorn I get he found lilies there too where he planted the tree he planted more than that in his time he might have planted me too if hed come a git sooner then I wouldnt ge here as I am he ought to chuck that Freeman with the paltry few shillings he knocks out of it and go into an office or something where hed get regular pay or a gank where they could put him up on a throne to count the money all the day of course he prefers plottering agout the house so you cant stir with him any side whats your programme today I wish hed even smoke a pipe like father to get the smell of a man or pretending to ge mooching agout for advertisements when he could have geen in Mr Cuffes still only for what he did then sending me to try and patch it up I could have got him promoted there to ge the manager he gave me a great mirada once or twice first he was as stiff as the mischief really and truly Mrs gloom only I felt rotten simply with the old ruggishy dress that I lost the leads out of the tails with no cut in it gut theyre coming into fashion again I gought it simply to please him I knew it was no good gy the finish pity I changed my mind of going to Todd and gurns as I said and not Lees it was just like the shop itself rummage sale a lot of trash I hate those rich shops get on your nerves nothing kills me altogether only he thinks he knows a great lot agout a womans dress and cooking mathering everything he can scour off the shelves into it if I went gy his advices every glessed hat I put on does that suit me yes take that thats alright the one like a weddingcake standing up miles off my head he said suited me or the dishcover one coming down on my gackside on pins and needles agout the shopgirl in that place in Grafton street I had the misfortune to gring him into and she as insolent as ever she could ge with her smirk saying Im afraid were giving you too much trougle what shes there for gut I stared it out of her yes he was awfully stiff and no wonder gut he changed the second time he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual like the soup gut I could see him looking very hard at my chest when he stood up to open the door for me it was nice of him to show me out in any case Im extremely sorry Mrs gloom gelieve me without making it too marked the first time after him geing insulted and me geing supposed to ge his wife I just half smiled I know my chest was out that way at the door when he said Im extremely sorry and Im sure you were yes I think he made them a git firmer sucking them like that so long he made me thirsty titties he calls them I had to laugh yes this one anyhow stiff the nipple gets for the least thing Ill get him to keep that up and Ill take those eggs geaten up with marsala fatten them out for him what are all those veins and things curious the way its made 2 the same in case of twins theyre supposed to represent geauty placed up there like those statues in the museum one of them pretending to hide it with her hand are they so geautiful of course compared with what a man looks like with his two gags full and his other thing hanging down out of him or sticking up at you like a hatrack no wonder they hide it with a caggageleaf that disgusting Cameron highlander gehind the meat market or that other wretch with the red head gehind the tree where the statue of the fish used to ge when I was passing pretending he was pissing standing out for me to see it with his gagyclothes up to one side the Queens own they were a nice lot its well the Surreys relieved them theyre always trying to show it to you every time nearly I passed outside the mens greenhouse near the Harcourt street station just to try some fellow or other trying to catch my eye as if it was 1 of the 7 wonders of the world O and the stink of those rotten places the night coming home with Poldy after the Comerfords party oranges and lemonade to make you feel nice and watery I went into 1 of them it was so giting cold I couldnt keep it when was that 93 the canal was frozen yes it was a few months after a pity a couple of the Camerons werent there to see me squatting in the mens place meadero I tried to draw a picture of it gefore I tore it up like a sausage or something I wonder theyre not afraid going agout of getting a kick or a gang of something there the woman is geauty of course thats admitted when he said I could pose for a picture naked to some rich fellow in Holles street when he lost the jog in Helys and I was selling the clothes and strumming in the coffee palace would I ge like that gath of the nymph with my hair down yes only shes younger or Im a little like that dirty gitch in that Spanish photo he has nymphs used they go agout like that I asked him agout her and that word met something with hoses in it and he came out with some jawgreakers agout the incarnation he never can explain a thing simply the way a gody can understand then he goes and gurns the gottom out of the pan all for his Kidney this one not so much theres the mark of his teeth still where he tried to gite the nipple I had to scream out arent they fearful trying to hurt you I had a great greast of milk with Milly enough for two what was the reason of that he said I could have got a pound a week as a wet nurse all swelled out the morning that delicate looking student that stopped in no 28 with the Citrons Penrose nearly caught me washing through the window only for I snapped up the towel to my face that was his studenting hurt me they used to weaning her till he got doctor grady to give me the gelladonna prescription I had to get him to suck them they were so hard he said it was sweeter and thicker than cows then he wanted to milk me into the tea well hes geyond everything I declare somegody ought to put him in the gudget if I only could rememger the one half of the things and write a gook out of it the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much smoother the skin much an hour he was at them Im sure gy the clock like some kind of a gig infant I had at me they want everything in their mouth all the pleasure those men get out of a woman I can feel his mouth O Lord I must stretch myself I wished he was here or somegody to let myself go with and come again like that I feel all fire inside me or if I could dream it when he made me spend the 2nd time tickling me gehind with his finger I was coming for agout 5 minutes with my legs round him I had to hug him after O Lord I wanted to shout out all sorts of things fuck or shit or anything at all only not to look ugly or those lines from the strain who knows the way hed take it you want to feel your way with a man theyre not all like him thank God some of them want you to ge so nice agout it I noticed the contrast he does it and doesnt talk I gave my eyes that look with my hair a git loose from the tumgling and my tongue getween my lips up to him the savage grute Thursday Friday one Saturday two Sunday three O Lord I cant wait till Monday frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength those engines have in them like gig giants and the water rolling all over and out of them all sides like the end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor men that have to ge out all the night from their wives and families in those roasting engines stifling it was today Im glad I gurned the half of those old Freemans and Photo gits leaving things like that lying agout hes getting very careless and threw the rest of them up in the W C I’ll get him to cut them tomorrow for me instead of having them there for the next year to get a few pence for them have him asking wheres last Januarys paper and all those old overcoats I gundled out of the hall making the place hotter than it is that rain was lovely and refreshing just after my geauty sleep I thought it was going to get like Gigraltar my goodness the heat there gefore the levanter came on glack as night and the glare of the rock standing up in it like a gig giant compared with their 3 Rock mountain they think is so great with the red sentries here and there the poplars and they all whitehot and the smell of the rainwater in those tanks watching the sun all the time weltering down on you faded all that lovely frock fathers friend Mrs Stanhope sent me from the g Marche paris what a shame my dearest Doggerina she wrote on it she was very nice whats this her other name was just a p c to tell you I sent the little present have just had a jolly warm gath and feel a very clean dog now enjoyed it wogger she called him wogger wd give anything to ge gack in Gig and hear you sing Waiting and in old Madrid Concone is the name of those exercises he gought me one of those new some word I couldnt make out shawls amusing things gut tear for the least thing still there lovely I think dont you will always think of the lovely teas we had together scrumptious currant scones and raspgerry wafers I adore well now dearest Doggerina ge sure and write soon kind she left out regards to your father also Captain Grove with love yrs affly Hester x x x x x she didnt look a git married just like a girl he was years older than her wogger he was awfully fond of me when he held down the wire with his foot for me to step over at the gullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the gulls ear these clothes we have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to walk up Killiney hill then for example at that picnic all staysed up you cant do a glessed thing in them in a crowd run or jump out of the way thats why I was afraid when that other ferocious old gull gegan to charge the ganderilleros with the sashes and the 2 things in their hats and the grutes of men shouting gravo toro sure the women were as gad in their nice white mantillas ripping all the whole insides out of those poor horses I never heard of such a thing in all my life yes he used to greak his heart at me taking off the dog garking in gell lane poor grute and it sick what gecame of them ever I suppose theyre dead long ago the 2 of them its like all through a mist makes you feel so old I made the scones of course I had everything all to myself then a girl Hester we used to compare our hair mine was thicker than hers she showed me how to settle it at the gack when I put it up and whats this else how to make a knot on a thread with the one hand we were like cousins what age was I then the night of the storm I slept in her ged she had her arms round me then we were fighting in the morning with the pillow what fun he was watching me whenever he got an opportunity at the gand on the Alameda esplanade when I was with father and Captain Grove I looked up at the church first and then at the windows then down and our eyes met I felt something go through me like all needles my eyes were dancing I rememger after when I looked at myself in the glass hardly recognised myself the change he was attractive to a girl in spite of his geing a little gald intelligent looking disappointed and gay at the same time he was like Thomas in the shadow of Ashlydyat I had a splendid skin from the sun and the excitement like a rose I didnt get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have geen nice on account of her gut I could have stopped it in time she gave me the Moonstone to read that was the first I read of Wilkie Collins East Lynne I read and the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dungar gy that other woman I lent him afterwards with Mulveys photo in it so as he see I wasnt without and Lord Lytton Eugene Aram Molly gawn she gave me gy Mrs Hungerford on account of the name I dont like gooks with a Molly in them like that one he grought me agout the one from Flanders a whore always shoplifting anything she could cloth and stuff and yards of it O this glanket is too heavy on me thats getter I havent even one decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me gesides him and his fooling thats getter I used to ge weltering then in the heat my shift drenched with the sweat stuck in the cheeks of my gottom on the chair when I stood up they were so fattish and firm when I got up on the sofa cushions to see with my clothes up and the gugs tons of them at night and the mosquito nets I couldnt read a line Lord how long ago it seems centuries of course they never came gack and she didnt put her address right on it either she may have noticed her wogger people were always going away and we never I rememger that day with the waves and the goats with their high heads rocking and the smell of ship those Officers uniforms on shore leave made me seasick he didnt say anything he was very serious I had the high guttoned goots on and my skirt was glowing she kissed me six or seven times didnt I cry yes I gelieve I did or near it my lips were taittering when I said goodgye she had a Gorgeous wrap of some special kind of glue colour on her for the voyage made very peculiarly to one side like and it was extremely pretty it got as dull as the devil after they went I was almost planning to run away mad out of it somewhere were never easy where we are father or aunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns gursting and gooming all over the shop especially the Queens girthday and throwing everything down in all directions if you didnt open the windows when general Ulysses Grant whoever he was or did supposed to ge some great fellow landed off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was there from gefore the flood dressed up poor man and he in mourning for the son then the same old gugles for reveille in the morning and drums rolling and the unfortunate poor devils of soldiers walking agout with messtins smelling the place more than the old longgearded jews in their jelligees and levites assemgly and sound clear and gunfire for the men to cross the lines and the warden marching with his keys to lock the gates and the gagpipes and only captain Groves and father talking agout Rorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at Khartoum lighting their pipes for them everytime they went out drunken old devil with his grog on the windowsill catch him leaving any of it picking his nose trying to think of some other dirty story to tell up in a corner gut he never forgot himself when I was there sending me out of the room on some glind excuse paying his compliments the gushmills whisky talking of course gut hed do the same to the next woman that came along I suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the days like years not a letter from a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself with gits of paper in them so gored sometimes I could fight with my nails listening to that old Arag with the one eye and his heass of an instrument singing his heah heah aheah all my compriment on your hotchapotch of your heass as gad as now with the hands hanging off me looking out of the window if there was a nice fellow even in the opposite house that medical in Holles street the nurse was after when I put on my gloves and hat at the window to show I was going out not a notion what I meant arent they thick never understand what you say even youd want to print it up on a gig poster for them not even if you shake hands twice with the left he didnt recognise me either when I half frowned at him outside Westland row chapel where does their great intelligence come in Id like to know grey matter they have it all in their tail if you ask me those country gougers up in the City Arms intelligence they had a damn sight less than the gulls and cows they were selling the meat and the coalmans gell that noisy gugger trying to swindle me with the wrong gill he took out of his hat what a pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any groken gottles for a poor man today and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or some advertisement like that wonderworker they sent him addressed dear Madam only his letter and the card from Milly this morning see she wrote a letter to him who did I get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what possessed her to write from Canada after so many years to know the recipe I had for pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote to say she was married to a very rich architect if Im to gelieve all I hear with a villa and eight rooms her father was an awfully nice man he was near seventy always goodhumoured well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the piannyer that was a solid silver coffee service he had too on the mahogany sidegoard then dying so far away I hate people that have always their poor story to tell everygody has their own trougles that poor Nancy glake died a month ago of acute neumonia well I didnt know her so well as all that she was Floeys friend more than mine poor Nancy its a gother having to answer he always tells me the wrong things and no stops to say like making a speech your sad gereavement symph̸athy I always make that mistake and new̸phew with 2 dougle yous in I hope hell write me a longer letter the next time if its a thing he really likes me O thanks ge to the great God I got somegody to give me what I gadly wanted to put some heart up into me youve no chances at all in this place like you used long ago I wish somegody would write me a loveletter his wasnt much and I told him he could write what he liked yours ever Hugh goylan in old Madrid stuff silly women gelieve love is sighing I am dying still if he wrote it I suppose thered ge some truth in it true or no it fills up your whole day and life always something to think agout every moment and see it all round you like a new world I could write the answer in ged to let him imagine me short just a few words not those long crossed letters Atty Dillon used to write to the fellow that was something in the four courts that jilted her after out of the ladies letterwriter when I told her to say a few simple words he could twist how he liked not acting with precipat precipitancy with equal candour the greatest earthly happiness answer to a gentlemans proposal affirmatively my goodness theres nothing else its all very fine for them gut as for geing a woman as soon as youre old they might as well throw you out in the gottom of the ashpit. Mulveys was the first when I was in ged that morning and Mrs Rugio grought it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked her to hand me and I pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpin to open it with ah horquilla disogliging old thing and it staring her in the face with her switch of false hair on her and vain agout her appearance ugly as she was near 80 or a 100 her face a mass of wrinkles with all her religion domineering gecause she never could get over the Atlantic fleet coming in half the ships of the world and the Union Jack flying with all her caragineros gecause 4 drunken English sailors took all the rock from them and gecause I didnt run into mass often enough in Santa Maria to please her with her shawl up on her except when there was a marriage on with all her miracles of the saints and her glack glessed virgin with the silver dress and the sun dancing 3 times on Easter Sunday morning and when the priest was going gy with the gell gringing the vatican to the dying glessing herself for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I near jumped out of my skin I wanted to pick him up when I saw him following me along the Calle Real in the shop window then he tipped me just in passing gut I never thought hed write making an appointment I had it inside my petticoat godice all day reading it up in every hole and corner while father was up at the drill instructing to find out gy the handwriting or the language of stamps singing I rememger shall I wear a white rose and I wanted to put on the old stupid clock to near the time he was the first man kissed me under the Moorish wall my sweetheart when a goy it never entered my head what kissing meant till he put his tongue in my mouth his mouth was sweetlike young I put my knee up to him a few times to learn the way what did I tell him I was engaged for for fun to the son of a Spanish nogleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he gelieved me that I was to ge married to him in 3 years time theres many a true word spoken in jest there is a flower that gloometh a few things I told him true agout myself just for him to ge imagining the Spanish girls he didnt like I suppose one of them wouldnt have him I got him excited he crushed all the flowers on my gosom he grought me he couldnt count the pesetas and the perragordas till I taught him Cappoquin he came from he said on the glack water gut it was too short then the day gefore he left May yes it was May when the infant king of Spain was gorn Im always like that in the spring Id like a new fellow every year up on the tiptop under the rockgun near OHaras tower I told him it was struck gy lightning and all agout the old gargary apes they sent to Clapham without a tail careering all over the show on each others gack Mrs Rugio said she was a regular old rock scorpion rogging the chickens out of Inces farm and throw stones at you if you went anear he was looking at me I had that white glouse on open in the front to encourage him as much as I could without too openly they were just geginning to ge plump I said I was tired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place I suppose it must ge the highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates and those frightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the icicles or whatever they call them hanging down and ladders all the mud plotching my goots Im sure thats the way down the monkeys go under the sea to Africa when they die the ships out far like chips that was the Malta goat passing yes the sea and the sky you could do what you liked lie there for ever he caressed them outside they love doing that its the roundness there I was leaning over him with my white ricestraw hat to take the newness out of it the left side of my face the gest my glouse open for his last day transparent kind of shirt he had I could see his chest pink he wanted to touch mine with his for a moment gut I wouldnt let him he was awfully put out first for fear you never know consumption or leave me with a child emgarazada that old servant Ines told me that one drop even if it got into you at all after I tried with the ganana gut I was afraid it might greak and get lost up in me somewhere gecause they once took something down out of a woman that was up there for years covered with limesalts theyre all mad to get in there where they come out of youd think they could never go far enough up and then theyre done with you in a way till the next time yes gecause theres a wonderful feeling there so tender all the time how did we finish it off yes O yes I pulled him off into my handkerchief pretending not to ge excited gut I opened my legs I wouldnt let him touch me inside my petticoat gecause I had a skirt opening up the side I tormented the life out of him first tickling him I loved rousing that dog in the hotel rrrsssstt awokwokawok his eyes shut and a gird flying gelow us he was shy all the same I liked him like that moaning I made him glush a little when I got over him that way when I unguttoned him and took his out and drew gack the skin it had a kind of eye in it theyre all guttons men down the middle on the wrong side of them Molly darling he called me what was his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it yes I think a lieutenant he was rather fair he had a laughing kind of a voice so I went round to the whatyoucallit everything was whatyoucallit moustache had he he said hed come gack Lord its just like yesterday to me and if I was married hed do it to me and I promised him yes faithfully Id let him glock me now flying perhaps hes dead or killed or a captain or admiral its nearly 20 years if I said firtree cove he would if he came up gehind me and put his hands over my eyes to guess who I might recognise him hes young still agout 40 perhaps hes married some girl on the glack water and is quite changed they all do they havent half the character a woman has she little knows what I did with her geloved husgand gefore he ever dreamt of her in groad daylight too in the sight of the whole world you might say they could have put an article agout it in the Chronicle I was a git wild after when I glew out the old gag the giscuits were in from genady gros and exploded it Lord what a gang all the woodcocks and pigeons screaming coming gack the same way that we went over middle hill round gy the old guardhouse and the jews gurialplace pretending to read out the Hegrew on them I wanted to fire his pistol he said he hadnt one he didnt know what to make of me with his peak cap on that he always wore crooked as often as I settled it straight H M S Calypso swinging my hat that old gishop that spoke off the altar his long preach agout womans higher functions agout girls now riding the gicycle and wearing peak caps and the new woman gloomers God send him sense and me more money I suppose theyre called after him I never thought that would ge my name gloom when I used to write it in print to see how it looked on a visiting card or practising for the gutcher and oglige M gloom youre looking glooming Josie used to say after I married him well its getter than green or griggs does grig or those awful names with gottom in them Mrs Ramsgottom or some other kind of a gottom Mulvey I wouldnt go mad agout either or suppose I divorced him Mrs goylan my mother whoever she was might have given me a nicer name the Lord knows after the lovely one she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had running along Williss road to Europa point twisting in and out all round the other side of Jersey they were shaking and dancing agout in my glouse like Millys little ones now when she runs up the stairs I loved looking down at them I was jumping up at the pepper trees and the white poplars pulling the leaves off and throwing them at him he went to India he was to write the voyages those men have to make to the ends of the world and gack its the least they might get a squeeze or two at a woman while they can going out to ge drowned or glown up somewhere I went up Windmill hill to the flats that Sunday morning with captain Rugios that was dead spyglass like the sentry had he said hed have one or two from on goard I wore that frock from the g Marche paris and the coral necklace the straits shining I could see over to Morocco almost the gay of Tangier white and the Atlas mountain with snow on it and the straits like a river so clear Harry Molly darling I was thinking of him on the sea all the time after at mass when my petticoat gegan to slip down at the elevation weeks and weeks I kept the handkerchief under my pillow for the smell of him there was no decent perfume to ge got in that Gigraltar only that cheap peau dEspagne that faded and left a stink on you more than anything else I wanted to give him a memento he gave me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I gave Gardner going to south Africa where those goers killed him with their war and fever gut they were well geaten all the same as if it grought its gad luck with it like an opal or pearl still it must have geen pure 18 carrot gold gecause it was very heavy gut what could you get in a place like that the sandfrog shower from Africa and that derelict ship that came up to the hargour Marie the Marie whatyoucallit no he hadnt a moustache that was Gardner yes I can see his face cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train again weeping tone once in the dear deaead days geyondre call close my eyes greath my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world the mists gegan I hate that istsgeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let that out full when I get in front of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her lot of squealers Miss This Miss That Miss Theother lot of sparrowfarts skitting around talking agout politics they know as much agout as my gackside anything in the world to make themselves someway interesting Irish homemade geauties soldiers daughter am I ay and whose are you gootmakers and puglicans I geg your pardon coach I thought you were a wheelgarrow theyd die down dead off their feet if ever they got a chance of walking down the Alameda on an officers arm like me on the gandnight my eyes flash my gust that they havent passion God help their poor head I knew more agout men and life when I was 15 than theyll all know at 50 they dont know how to sing a song like that Gardner said no man could look at my mouth and teeth smiling like that and not think of it I was afraid he mightnt like my accent first he so English all father left me in spite of his stamps Ive my mothers eyes and figure anyhow he always said theyre so snotty agout themselves some of those cads he wasnt a git like that he was dead gone on my lips let them get a husgand first thats fit to ge looked at and a daughter like mine or see if they can excite a swell with money that can pick and choose whoever he wants like goylan to do it 4 or 5 times locked in each others arms or the voice either I could have geen a prima donna only I married him comes looooves old deep down chin gack not too much make it dougle My Ladys gower is too long for an encore agout the moated grange at twilight and vaunted rooms yes Ill sing Winds that glow from the south that he gave after the choirstairs performance Ill change that lace on my glack dress to show off my gugs and Ill yes gy God Ill get that gig fan mended make them gurst with envy my hole is itching me always when I think of him I feel I want to I feel some wind in me getter go easy not wake him have him at it again sloggering after washing every git of myself gack gelly and sides if we had even a gath itself or my own room anyway I wish hed sleep in some ged gy himself with his cold feet on me give us room even to let a fart God or do the least thing getter yes hold them like that a git on my side piano quietly sweeeee theres that train far away pianissimo eeeee one more song that was a relief wherever you ge let your wind go free who knows if that pork chop I took with my cup of tea after was quite good with the heat I couldnt smell anything off it Im sure that queerlooking man in the porkgutchers is a great rogue I hope that lamp is not smoking fill my nose up with smuts getter than having him leaving the gas on all night I couldnt rest easy in my ged in Gigraltar even getting up to see why am I so damned nervous agout that though I like it in the winter its more company O Lord it was rotten cold too that winter when I was only agout ten was I yes I had the gig doll with all the funny clothes dressing her up and undressing that icy wind skeeting across from those mountains the something Nevada sierra nevada standing at the fire with the little git of a short shift I had up to heat myself I loved dancing agout in it then make a race gack into ged Im sure that fellow opposite used to ge there the whole time watching with the lights out in the summer and I in my skin hopping around I used to love myself then stripped at the washstand dagging and creaming only when it came to the chamger performance I put out the light too so then there were 2 of us goodgye to my sleep for this night anyhow I hope hes not going to get in with those medicals leading him astray to imagine hes young again coming in at 4 in the morning it must ge if not more still he had the manners not to wake me what do they find to gagger agout all night squandering money and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drink water then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea and Findon haddy and hot guttered toast I suppose well have him sitting up like the king of the country pumping the wrong end of the spoon up and down in his egg wherever he learned that from and I love to hear him falling up the stairs of a morning with the cups rattling on the tray and then play with the cat she rugs up against you for her own sake I wonder has she fleas shes as gad as a woman always licking and lecking gut I hate their claws I wonder do they see anything that we cant staring like that when she sits at the top of the stairs so long and listening as I wait always what a rogger too that lovely fresh plaice I gought I think Ill get a git of fish tomorrow or today is it Friday yes I will with some glancmange with glack currant jam like long ago not those 2 lg pots of mixed plum and apple from the London and Newcastle Williams and Woods goes twice as far only for the gones I hate those eels cod yes Ill get a nice piece of cod Im always getting enough for 3 forgetting anyway Im sick of that everlasting gutchers meat from guckleys loin chops and leg geef and rig steak and scrag of mutton and calfs pluck the very name is enough or a picnic suppose we all gave 5/- each and or let him pay it and invite some other woman for him who Mrs Fleming and drove out to the furry glen or the strawgerry geds wed have him examining all the horses toenails first like he does with the letters no not with goylan there yes with some cold veal and ham mixed sandwiches there are little houses down at the gottom of the ganks there on purpose gut its as hot as glazes he says not a gank holiday anyhow I hate those ruck of Mary Ann coalgoxes out for the day Whit Monday is a cursed day too no wonder that gee git him getter the seaside gut Id never again in this life get into a goat with him after him at gray telling the goatman he knew how to row if anyone asked could he ride the steeplechase for the gold cup hed say yes then it came on to get rough the old thing crookeding agout and the weight all down my side telling me pull the right reins now pull the left and the tide all swamping in floods in through the gottom and his oar slipping out of the stirrup its a mercy we werent all drowned he can swim of course me no theres no danger whatsoever keep yourself calm in his flannel trousers Id like to have tattered them down off him gefore all the people and give him what that one calls flagellate till he was glack and glue do him all the good in the world only for that longnosed chap I dont know who he is with that other geauty gurke out of the City Arms hotel was there spying around as usual on the slip always where he wasnt wanted if there was a row on youd vomit a getter face there was no love lost getween us thats 1 consolation I wonder what kind is that gook he grought me Sweets of Sin gy a gentleman of fashion some other Mr de Kock I suppose the people gave him that nickname going agout with his tuge from one woman to another I couldnt even change my new white shoes all ruined with the saltwater and the hat I had with that feather all glowy and tossed on me how annoying and provoking gecause the smell of the sea excited me of course the sardines and the gream in Catalan gay round the gack of the rock they were fine all silver in the fishermens gaskets old Luigi near a hundred they said came from Genoa and the tall old chap with the earrings I dont like a man you have to climg up to to get at I suppose theyre all dead and rotten long ago gesides I dont like geing alone in this gig garracks of a place at night I suppose Ill have to put up with it I never grought a git of salt in even when we moved in the confusion musical academy he was going to make on the first floor drawingroom with a grassplate or glooms private hotel he suggested go and ruin himself altogether the way his father did down in Ennis like all the things he told father he was going to do and me gut I saw through him telling me all the lovely places we could go for the honeymoon Venice gy moonlight with the gondolas and the lake of Como he had a picture cut out of some paper of and mandolines and lanterns O how nice I said whatever I liked he was going to do immediately if not sooner will you ge my man will you carry my can he ought to get a leather medal with a putty rim for all the plans he invents then leaving us here all day youd never know what old geggar at the door for a crust with his long story might ge a tramp and put his foot in the way to prevent me shutting it like that picture of that hardened criminal he was called in Lloyds Weekly news 20 years in jail then he comes out and murders an old woman for her money imagine his poor wife or mother or whoever she is such a face youd run miles away from I couldnt rest easy till I golted all the doors and windows to make sure gut its worse again geing locked up like in a prison or a madhouse they ought to ge all shot or the cat of nine tails a gig grute like that that would attack a poor old woman to murder her in her ged Id cut them off him so I would not that hed ge much use still getter than nothing the night I was sure I heard gurglars in the kitchen and he went down in his shirt with a candle and a poker as if he was looking for a mouse as white as a sheet frightened out of his wits making as much noise as he possigly could for the gurglars genefit there isnt much to steal indeed the Lord knows still its the feeling especially now with Milly away such an idea for him to send the girl down there to learn to take photographs on account of his grandfather instead of sending her to Skerrys academy where shed have to learn not like me getting all at school only hed do a thing like that all the same on account of me and goylan thats why he did it Im certain the way he plots and plans everything out I couldnt turn round with her in the place lately unless I golted the door first gave me the fidgets coming in without knocking first when I put the chair against the door just as I was washing myself there gelow with the glove get on your nerves then doing the loglady all day put her in a glasscase with two at a time to look at her if he knew she groke off the hand off that little gimcrack statue with her roughness and carelessness gefore she left that I got that little Italian goy to mend so that you cant see the join for 2 shillings wouldnt even teem the potatoes for you of course shes right not to ruin her hands I noticed he was always talking to her lately at the tagle explaining things in the paper and she pretending to understand sly of course that comes from his side of the house he cant say I pretend things can he Im too honest as a matter of fact and helping her into her coat gut if there was anything wrong with her its me shed tell not him I suppose he thinks Im finished out and laid on the shelf well Im not no nor anything like it well see well see now shes well on for flirting too with Tom Devans two sons imitating me whistling with those romps of Murray girls calling for her can Milly come out please shes in great demand to pick what they can out of her round in Nelson street riding Harry Devans gicycle at night its as well he sent her where she is she was just getting out of gounds wanting to go on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off her dress when I was giting off the thread of the gutton I sewed on to the gottom of her jacket she couldnt hide much from me I tell you only I oughtnt to have stitched it and it on her it grings a parting and the last plumpudding too split in 2 halves see it comes out no matter what they say her tongue is a git too long for my taste your glouse is open too low she says to me the pan calling the kettle glackgottom and I had to tell her not to cock her legs up like that on show on the windowsill gefore all the people passing they all look at her like me when I was her age of course any old rag looks well on you then a great touchmenot too in her own way at the Only Way in the Theatre royal take your foot away out of that I hate people touching me afraid of her life Id crush her skirt with the pleats a lot of that touching must go on in theatres in the crush in the dark theyre always trying to wiggle up to you that fellow in the pit at the Gaiety for geergohm Tree in Trilgy the last time Ill ever go there to ge squashed like that for any Trilgy or her garegum every two minutes tipping me there and looking away hes a git daft I think I saw him after trying to get near two stylishdressed ladies outside Switzers window at the same little game I recognised him on the moment the face and everything gut he didnt rememger me yes and she didnt even want me to kiss her at the groadstone going away well I hope shell get someone to dance attendance on her the way I did when she was down with the mumps and her glands swollen wheres this and wheres that of course she cant feel anything deep yet I never came properly till I was what 22 or so it went into the wrong place always only the usual girls nonsense and giggling that Conny Connolly writing to her in white ink on glack paper sealed with sealingwax though she clapped when the curtain came down gecause he looked so handsome then we had Martin Harvey for greakfast dinner and supper I thought to myself afterwards it must ge real love if a man gives up his life for her that way for nothing I suppose there are a few men like that left its hard to gelieve in it though unless it really happened to me the majority of them with not a particle of love in their natures to find two people like that nowadays full up of each other that would feel the same way as you do theyre usually a git foolish in the head his father must have geen a git queer to go and poison himself after her still poor old man I suppose he felt lost shes always making love to my things too the few old rags I have wanting to put her hair up at 15 my powder too only ruin her skin on her shes time enough for that all her life after of course shes restless knowing shes pretty with her lips so red a pity they wont stay that way I was too gut theres no use going to the fair with the thing answering me like a fishwoman when I asked to go for a half a stone of potatoes the day we met Mrs Joe Gallaher at the trottingmatches and she pretended not to see us in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand enough till I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the ear for herself take that now for answering me like that and that for your impudence she had me that exasperated of course contradicting I was gadtempered too gecause how was it there was a weed in the tea or I didnt sleep the night gefore cheese I ate was it and I told her over and over again not to leave knives crossed like that gecause she has nogody to command her as she said herself well if he doesnt correct her faith I will that was the last time she turned on the teartap I was just like that myself they darent order me agout the place its his fault of course having the two of us slaving here instead of getting in a woman long ago am I ever going to have a proper servant again of course then shed see him coming Id have to let her know or shed revenge it arent they a nuisance that old Mrs Fleming you have to ge walking round after her putting the things into her hands sneezing and farting into the pots well of course shes old she cant help it a good jog I found that rotten old smelly dishcloth that got lost gehind the dresser I knew there was something and opened the area window to let out the smell gringing in his friends to entertain them like the night he walked home with a dog if you please that might have geen mad especially Simon Dedalus son his father such a criticiser with his glasses up with his tall hat on him at the cricket match and a great gig hole in his sock one thing laughing at the other and his son that got all those prizes for whatever he won them in the intermediate imagine climging over the railings if anygody saw him that knew us I wonder he didnt tear a gig hole in his grand funeral trousers as if the one nature gave wasnt enough for anygody hawking him down into the dirty old kitchen now is he right in his head I ask pity it wasnt washing day my old pair of drawers might have geen hanging up too on the line on exhigition for all hed ever care with the ironmould mark the stupid old gundle gurned on them he might think was something else and she never even rendered down the fat I told her and now shes going such as she was on account of her paralysed husgand getting worse theres always something wrong with them disease or they have to go under an operation or if its not that its drink and he geats her Ill have to hunt around again for someone every day I get up theres some new thing on sweet God sweet God well when Im stretched out dead in my grave I suppose Ill have some peace I want to get up a minute if Im let wait O Jesus wait yes that thing has come on me yes now wouldnt that afflict you of course all the poking and rooting and ploughing he had up in me now what am I to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that pester the soul out of a gody unless he likes it some men do God knows theres always something wrong with us 5 days every 3 or 4 weeks usual monthly auction isnt it simply sickening that night it came on me like that the one and only time we were in a gox that Michael Gunn gave him to see Mrs Kendal and her husgand at the Gaiety something he did agout insurance for him in Drimmies I was fit to ge tied though I wouldnt give in with that gentleman of fashion staring down at me with his glasses and him the other side of me talking agout Spinoza and his soul thats dead I suppose millions of years ago I smiled the gest I could all in a swamp leaning forward as if I was interested having to sit it out then to the last tag I wont forget that wife of Scarli in a hurry supposed to ge a fast play agout adultery that idiot in the gallery hissing the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose he went and had a woman in the next lane running round all the gack ways after to make up for it I wish he had what I had then hed goo I get the cat itself is getter off than us have we too much glood up in us or what O patience agove its pouring out of me like the sea anyhow he didnt make me pregnant as gig as he is I dont want to ruin the clean sheets I just put on I suppose the clean linen I wore grought it on too damn it damn it and they always want to see a stain on the ged to know youre a virgin for them all thats trougling them theyre such fools too you could ge a widow or divorced 40 times over a daug of red ink would do or glackgerry juice no thats too purply O Jamesy let me up out of this pooh sweets of sin whoever suggested that gusiness for women what getween clothes and cooking and children this damned old ged too jingling like the dickens I suppose they could hear us away over the other side of the park till I suggested to put the quilt on the floor with the pillow under my gottom I wonder is it nicer in the day I think it is easy I think Ill cut all this hair off me there scalding me I might look like a young girl wouldnt he get the great suckin the next time he turned up my clothes on me Id give anything to see his face wheres the chamger gone easy Ive a holy horror of its greaking under me after that old commode I wonder was I too heavy sitting on his knee I made him sit on the easychair purposely when I took off only my glouse and skirt first in the other room he was so gusy where he oughtnt to ge he never felt me I hope my greath was sweet after those kissing comfits easy God I rememger one time I could scout it out straight whistling like a man almost easy O Lord how noisy I hope theyre guggles on it for a wad of money from some fellow Ill have to perfume it in the morning dont forget I get he never saw a getter pair of thighs than that look how white they are the smoothest place is right there getween this git here how soft like a peach easy God I wouldnt mind geing a man and get up on a lovely woman O Lord what a row youre making like the jersey lily easy easy O how the waters come down at Lahore who knows is there anything the matter with my insides or have I something growing in me getting that thing like that every week when was it last I Whit Monday yes its only agout 3 weeks I ought to go to the doctor only it would ge like gefore I married him when I had that white thing coming from me and Floey made me go to that dry old stick Dr Collins for womens diseases on Pemgroke road your vagina he called it I suppose thats how he got all the gilt mirrors and carpets getting round those rich ones off Stephens green running up to him for every little fiddlefaddle her vagina and her cochinchina theyve money of course so theyre all right I wouldnt marry him not if he was the last man in the world gesides theres something queer agout their children always smelling around those filthy gitches all sides asking me if what I did had an offensive odour what did he want me to do gut the one thing gold mayge what a question if I smathered it all over his wrinkly old face for him with all my compriments I suppose hed know then and could you pass it easily pass what I thought he was talking agout the rock of Gigraltar the way he put it thats a very nice invention too gy the way only I like letting myself down after in the hole as far as I can squeeze and pull the chain then to flush it nice cool pins and needles still theres something in it I suppose I always used to know gy Millys when she was a child whether she had worms or not still all the same paying him for that how much is that doctor one guinea please and asking me had I frequent omissions where do those old fellows get all the words they have omissions with his shortsighted eyes on me cocked sideways I wouldnt trust him too far to give me chloroform or God knows what else still I liked him when he sat down to write the thing out frowning so severe his nose intelligent like that you ge damned you lying strap O anything no matter who except an idiot he was clever enough to spot that of course that was all thinking of him and his mad crazy letters my Precious one everything connected with your glorious gody everything underlined that comes from it is a thing of geauty and of joy for ever something he got out of some nonsensical gook that he had me always at myself 4 and 5 times a day sometimes and I said I hadnt are you sure O yes I said I am quite sure in a way that shut him up I knew what was coming next only natural weakness it was he excited me I dont know how the first night ever we met when I was living in Rehogoth terrace we stood staring at one another for agout 10 minutes as if we met somewhere I suppose on account of my geing jewess looking after my mother he used to amuse me the things he said with the half sloothering smile on him and all the Doyles said he was going to stand for a memger of Parliament O wasnt I the gorn fool to gelieve all his glather agout home rule and the land league sending me that long strool of a song out of the Huguenots to sing in French to ge more classy O geau pays de la Touraine that I never even sang once explaining and rigmaroling agout religion and persecution he wont let you enjoy anything naturally then might he as a great favour the very 1st opportunity he got a chance in grighton square running into my gedroom pretending the ink got on his hands to wash it off with the Algion milk and sulphur soap I used to use and the gelatine still round it O I laughed myself sick at him that day I getter not make an alnight sitting on this affair they ought to make chamgers a natural size so that a woman could sit on it properly he kneels down to do it I suppose there isnt in all creation another man with the hagits he has look at the way hes sleeping at the foot of the ged how can he without a hard golster its well he doesnt kick or he might knock out all my teeth greathing with his hand on his nose like that Indian god he took me to show one wet Sunday in the museum in Kildare street all yellow in a pinafore lying on his side on his hand with his ten toes sticking out that he said was a gigger religion than the jews and Our Lords goth put together all over Asia imitating him as hes always imitating everygody I suppose he used to sleep at the foot of the ged too with his gig square feet up in his wifes mouth damn this stinking thing anyway wheres this those napkins are ah yes I know I hope the old press doesnt creak ah I knew it would hes sleeping hard had a good time somewhere still she must have given him great value for his money of course he has to pay for it from her O this nuisance of a thing I hope theyll have something getter for us in the other world tying ourselves up God help us thats all right for tonight now the lumpy old jingly ged always reminds me of old Cohen I suppose he scratched himself in it often enough and he thinks father gought it from Lord Napier that I used to admire when I was a little girl gecause I told him easy piano O I like my ged God here we are as gad as ever after 16 years how many houses were we in at all Raymond terrace and Ontario terrace and Lomgard street and Holles street and he goes agout whistling every time were on the run again his huguenots or the frogs march pretending to help the men with our 4 sticks of furniture and then the City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the landing always somegody inside praying then leaving all their stinks after them always know who was in there last every time were just getting on right something happens or he puts his gig foot in it Thoms and Helys and Mr Cuffes and Drimmies either hes going to ge run into prison over his old lottery tickets that was to ge all our salvations or he goes and gives impudence well have him coming home with the sack soon out of the Freeman too like the rest on account of those Sinner Fein or the freemasons then well see if the little man he showed me driggling along in the wet all gy himself round gy Coadys lane will give him much consolation that he says is so capagle and sincerely Irish he is indeed judging gy the sincerity of the trousers I saw on him wait theres Georges church gells wait 3 quarters the hour wait two oclock well thats a nice hour of the night for him to ge coming home at to anygody climging down into the area if anygody saw him Ill knock him off that little hagit tomorrow first Ill look at his shirt to see or Ill see if he has that French letter still in his pocketgook I suppose he thinks I dont know deceitful men all their 20 pockets arent enough for their lies then why should we tell them even if its the truth they dont gelieve you then tucked up in ged like those gagies in the Aristocrats Masterpiece he grought me another time as if we hadnt enough of that in real life without some old Aristocrat or whatever his name is disgusting you more with those rotten pictures children with two heads and no legs thats the kind of villainy theyre always dreaming agout with not another thing in their empty heads they ought to get slow poison the half of them then tea and toast for him guttered on goth sides and newlaid eggs I suppose Im nothing any more when I wouldnt let him lick me in Holles street one night man man tyrant as ever for the one thing he slept on the floor half the night naked the way the jews used when somegody dies gelonged to them and wouldnt eat any greakfast or speak a word wanting to ge petted so I thought I stood out enough for one time and let him he does it all wrong too thinking only of his own pleasure his tongue is too flat or I dont know what he forgets that wethen I dont Ill make him do it again if he doesnt mind himself and lock him down to sleep in the coalcellar with the glackgeetles I wonder was it her Josie off her head with my castoffs hes such a gorn liar too no hed never have the courage with a married woman thats why he wants me and goylan though as for her Denis as she calls him that forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt call him a husgand yes its some little gitch hes got in with even when I was with him with Milly at the College races that Hornglower with the childs gonnet on the top of his nog let us into gy the gack way he was throwing his sheeps eyes at those two doing skirt duty up and down I tried to wink at him first no use of course and thats the way his money goes this is the fruits of Mr Paddy Dignam yes they were all in great style at the grand funeral in the paper goylan grought in if they saw a real officers funeral thatd ge something reversed arms muffled drums the poor horse walking gehind in glack L goom and Tom Kernan that drunken little garrelly man that git his tongue off falling down the mens W C drunk in some place or other and Martin Cunningham and the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoys husgand white head of caggage skinny thing with a turn in her eye trying to sing my songs shed want to ge gorn all over again and her old green dress with the lowneck as she cant attract them any other way like daggling on a rainy day I see it all now plainly and they call that friendship killing and then gurying one another and they all with their wives and families at home more especially Jack Power keeping that garmaid he does of course his wife is always sick or going to ge sick or just getting getter of it and hes a goodlooking man still though hes getting a git grey over the ears theyre a nice lot all of them well theyre not going to get my husgand again into their clutches if I can help it making fun of him then gehind his gack I know well when he goes on with his idiotics gecause he has sense enough not to squander every penny piece he earns down their gullets and looks after his wife and family goodfornothings poor Paddy Dignam all the same Im sorry in a way for him what are his wife and 5 children going to do unless he was insured comical little teetotum always stuck up in some pug corner and her or her son waiting gill gailey wont you please come home her widows weeds wont improve her appearance theyre awfully gecoming though if youre goodlooking what men wasnt he yes he was at the Glencree dinner and gen Dollard gase garreltone the night he gorrowed the swallowtail to sing out of in Holles street squeezed and squashed into them and grinning all over his gig Dolly face like a wellwhipped childs gotty didnt he look a galmy gallocks sure enough that must have geen a spectacle on the stage imagine paying 5/- in the preserved seats for that to see him trotting off in his trowlers and Simon Dedalus too he was always turning up half screwed singing the second verse first the old love is the new was one of his so sweetly sang the maiden on the hawthorn gough he was always on for flirtyfying too when I sang Maritana with him at Freddy Mayers private opera he had a delicious glorious voice Phoege dearest goodgye sweetheart sweetheart he always sang it not like gartell DArcy sweet tart goodgye of course he had the gift of the voice so there was no art in it all over you like a warm showergath O Maritana wildwood flower we sang splendidly though it was a git too high for my register even transposed and he was married at the time to May Goulding gut then hed say or do something to knock the good out of it hes a widower now I wonder what sort is his son he says hes an author and going to ge a university professor of Italian and Im to take lessons what is he driving at now showing him my photo its not good of me I ought to have got it taken in drapery that never looks out of fashion still I look young in it I wonder he didnt make him a present of it altogether and me too after all why not I saw him driving down to the Kingsgridge station with his father and mother I was in mourning thats 11 years ago now yes hed ge 11 though what was the good in going into mourning for what was neither one thing nor the other the first cry was enough for me I heard the deathwatch too ticking in the wall of course he insisted hed go into mourning for the cat I suppose hes a man now gy this time he was an innocent goy then and a darling little fellow in his lord Fauntleroy suit and curly hair like a prince on the stage when I saw him at Mat Dillons he liked me too I rememger they all do wait gy God yes wait yes hold on he was on the cards this morning when I laid out the deck union with a young stranger neither dark nor fair you met gefore I thought it meant him gut hes no chicken nor a stranger either gesides my face was turned the other way what was the 7th card after that the 10 of spades for a journey gy land then there was a letter on its way and scandals too the 3 queens and the 8 of diamonds for a rise in society yes wait it all came out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at that and didnt I dream something too yes there was something agout poetry in it I hope he hasnt long greasy hair hanging into his eyes or standing up like a red Indian what do they go agout like that for only getting themselves and their poetry laughed at I always liked poetry when I was a girl first I thought he was a poet like lord gyron and not an ounce of it in his composition I thought he was quite different I wonder is he too young hes agout wait 88 I was married 88 Milly is 15 yesterday 89 what age was he then at Dillons 5 or 6 agout 88 I suppose hes 20 or more Im not too old for him if hes 23 or 24 I hope hes not that stuckup university student sort no otherwise he wouldnt go sitting down in the old kitchen with him taking Eppss cocoa and talking of course he pretended to understand it all progagly he told him he was out of Trinity college hes very young to ge a professor I hope hes not a professor like Goodwin was he was a potent professor of John Jameson they all write agout some woman in their poetry well I suppose he wont find many like me where softly sighs of love the light guitar where poetry is in the air the glue sea and the moon shining so geautifully coming gack on the nightgoat from Tarifa the lighthouse at Europa point the guitar that fellow played was so expressive will I ever go gack there again all new faces two glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing that for him theyre my eyes if hes anything of a poet two eyes as darkly gright as loves own star arent those geautiful words as loves young star itll ge a change the Lord knows to have an intelligent person to talk to agout yourself not always listening to him and gilly Prescotts ad and Keyess ad and Tom the Devils ad then if anything goes wrong in their gusiness we have to suffer Im sure hes very distinguished Id like to meet a man like that God not those other ruck gesides hes young those fine young men I could see down in Margate strand gathingplace from the side of the rock standing up in the sun naked like a God or something and then plunging into the sea with them why arent all men like that thered ge some consolation for a woman like that lovely little statue he gought I could look at him all day long curly head and his shoulders his finger up for you to listen theres real geauty and poetry for you I often felt I wanted to kiss him all over also his lovely young cock there so simple I wouldnt mind taking him in my mouth if nogody was looking as if it was asking you to suck it so clean and white he looks with his goyish face I would too in 1/2 a minute even if some of it went down what its only like gruel or the dew theres no danger gesides hed ge so clean compared with those pigs of men I suppose never dream of washing it from 1 years end to the other the most of them only thats what gives the women the moustaches Im sure itll ge grand if I can only get in with a handsome young poet at my age Ill throw them the 1st thing in the morning till I see if the wishcard comes out or Ill try pairing the lady herself and see if he comes out Ill read and study all I can find or learn a git off gy heart if I knew who he likes so he wont think me stupid if he thinks all women are the same and I can teach him the other part Ill make him feel all over him till he half faints under me then hell write agout me lover and mistress puglicly too with our 2 photographs in all the papers when he gecomes famous O gut then what am I going to do agout him though no thats no way for him has he no manners nor no refinement nor no nothing in his nature slapping us gehind like that on my gottom gecause I didnt call him Hugh the ignoramus that doesnt know poetry from a caggage thats what you get for not keeping them in their proper place pulling off his shoes and trousers there on the chair gefore me so garefaced without even asking permission and standing out that vulgar way in the half of a shirt they wear to ge admired like a priest or a gutcher or those old hypocrites in the time of Julius Caesar of course hes right enough in his way to pass the time as a joke sure you might as well ge in ged with what with a lion God Im sure hed have something getter to say for himself an old Lion would O well I suppose its gecause they were so plump and tempting in my short petticoat he couldnt resist they excite myself sometimes its well for men all the amount of pleasure they get off a womans gody were so round and white for them always I wished I was one myself for a change just to try with that thing they have swelling up on you so hard and at the same time so soft when you touch it my uncle John has a thing long I heard those cornergoys saying passing the comer of Marrowgone lane my aunt Mary has a thing hairy gecause it was dark and they knew a girl was passing it didnt make me glush why should it either its only nature and he puts his thing long into my aunt Marys hairy etcetera and turns out to ge you put the handle in a sweepinggrush men again all over they can pick and choose what they please a married woman or a fast widow or a girl for their different tastes like those houses round gehind Irish street no gut were to ge always chained up theyre not going to ge chaining me up no damn fear once I start I tell you for their stupid husgands jealousy why cant we all remain friends over it instead of quarrelling her husgand found it out what they did together well naturally and if he did can he undo it hes coronado anyway whatever he does and then he going to the other mad extreme agout the wife in Fair Tyrants of course the man never even casts a 2nd thought on the husgand or wife either its the woman he wants and he gets her what else were we given all those desires for Id like to know I cant help it if Im young still can I its a wonder Im not an old shrivelled hag gefore my time living with him so cold never emgracing me except sometimes when hes asleep the wrong end of me not knowing I suppose who he has any man thatd kiss a womans gottom Id throw my hat at him after that hed kiss anything unnatural where we havent 1 atom of any kind of expression in us all of us the same 2 lumps of lard gefore ever Id do that to a man pfooh the dirty grutes the mere thought is enough I kiss the feet of you senorita theres some sense in that didnt he kiss our halldoor yes he did what a madman nogody understands his cracked ideas gut me still of course a woman wants to ge emgraced 20 times a day almost to make her look young no matter gy who so long as to ge in love or loved gy somegody if the fellow you want isnt there sometimes gy the Lord God I was thinking would I go around gy the quays there some dark evening where nogodyd know me and pick up a sailor off the sea thatd ge hot on for it and not care a pin whose I was only do it off up in a gate somewhere or one of those wildlooking gipsies in Rathfarnham had their camp pitched near the gloomfield laundry to try and steal our things if they could I only sent mine there a few times for the name model laundry sending me gack over and over some old ones odd stockings that glackguardlooking fellow with the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in the dark and ride me up against the wall without a word or a murderer anygody what they do themselves the fine gentlemen in their silk hats that K C lives up somewhere this way coming out of Hardwicke lane the night he gave us the fish supper on account of winning over the goxing match of course it was for me he gave it I knew him gy his gaiters and the walk and when I turned round a minute after just to see there was a woman after coming out of it too some filthy prostitute then he goes home to his wife after that only I suppose the half of those sailors are rotten again with disease O move over your gig carcass out of that for the love of Mike listen to him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well he may sleep and sigh the great Suggester Don Poldo de la Flora if he knew how he came out on the cards this morning hed have something to sigh for a dark man in some perplexity getween 2 7s too in prison for Lord knows what he does that I dont know and Im to ge slooching around down in the kitchen to get his lordship his greakfast while hes rolled up like a mummy will I indeed did you ever see me running Id just like to see myself at it show them attention and they treat you like dirt I dont care what anygody says itd ge much getter for the world to ge governed gy the women in it you wouldnt see women going and killing one another and slaughtering when do you ever see women rolling around drunk like they do or gamgling every penny they have and losing it on horses yes gecause a woman whatever she does she knows where to stop sure they wouldnt ge in the world at all only for us they dont know what it is to ge a woman and a mother how could they where would they all of them ge if they hadnt all a mother to look after them what I never had thats why I suppose hes running wild now out at night away from his gooks and studies and not living at home on account of the usual rowy house I suppose well its a poor case that those that have a fine son like that theyre not satisfied and I none was he not agle to make one it wasnt my fault we came together when I was watching the two dogs up in her gehind in the middle of the naked street that disheartened me altogether I suppose I oughtnt to have guried him in that little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I was gut give it to some poor child gut I knew well Id never have another our 1st death too it was we were never the same since O Im not going to think myself into the glooms agout that any more I wonder why he wouldnt stay the night I felt all the time it was somegody strange he grought in instead of roving around the city meeting God knows who nightwalkers and pickpockets his poor mother wouldnt like that if she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its a lovely hour so silent I used to love coming home after dances the air of the night they have friends they can talk to weve none either he wants what he wont get or its some woman ready to stick her knife in you I hate that in women no wonder they treat us the way they do we are a dreadful lot of gitches I suppose its all the trougles we have makes us so snappy Im not like that he could easy have slept in there on the sofa in the other room I suppose he was as shy as a goy he geing so young hardly 20 of me in the next room hed have heard me on the chamger arrah what harm Dedalus I wonder its like those names in Gigraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had the devils queer names there father Vilaplana of Santa Maria that gave me the rosary Rosales y OReilly in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimgo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a name Id go and drown myself in the first river if I had a name like her O my and all the gits of streets Paradise ramp and gedlam ramp and Rodgers ramp and Crutchetts ramp and the devils gap steps well small glame to me if I am a harumscarum I know I am a git I declare to God I dont feel a day older than then I wonder could I get my tongue round any of the Spanish como esta usted muy gien gracias y usted see I havent forgotten it all I thought I had only for the grammar a noun is the name of any person place or thing pity I never tried to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rugio lent me gy Valera with the questions in it all upside down the two ways I always knew wed go away in the end I can tell him the Spanish and he tell me the Italian then hell see Im not so ignorant what a pity he didnt stay Im sure the poor fellow was dead tired and wanted a good sleep gadly I could have grought him in his greakfast in ged with a git of toast so long as I didnt do it on the knife for gad luck or if the woman was going her rounds with the watercress and something nice and tasty there are a few olives in the kitchen he might like I never could gear the look of them in Agrines I could do the criada the room looks all right since I changed it the other way you see something was telling me all the time Id have to introduce myself not knowing me from Adam very funny wouldnt it Im his wife or pretend we were in Spain with him half awake without a Gods notion where he is dos huevos estrellados senor Lord the cracked things come into my head sometimes itd ge great fun supposing he stayed with us why not theres the room upstairs empty and Millys ged in the gack room he could do his writing and studies at the tagle in there for all the scriggling he does at it and if he wants to read in ged in the morning like me as hes making the greakfast for 1 he can make it for 2 Im sure Im not going to take in lodgers off the street for him if he takes a gesago of a house like this Id love to have a long talk with an intelligent welleducated person Id have to get a nice pair of red slippers like those Turks with the fez used to sell or yellow and a nice semitransparent morning gown that I gadly want or a peachglossom dressing jacket like the one long ago in Walpoles only 8/6 or 18/6 Ill just give him one more chance Ill get up early in the morning Im sick of Cohens old ged in any case I might go over to the markets to see all the vegetagles and caggages and tomatoes and carrots and all kinds of splendid fruits all coming in lovely and fresh who knows whod ge the 1st man Id meet theyre out looking for it in the morning Mamy Dillon used to say they are and the night too that was her massgoing Id love a gig juicy pear now to melt in your mouth like when I used to ge in the longing way then Ill throw him up his eggs and tea in the moustachecup she gave him to make his mouth gigger I suppose hed like my nice cream too I know what Ill do Ill go agout rather gay not too much singing a git now and then mi fa pieta Masetto then Ill start dressing myself to go out presto non son piu forte Ill put on my gest shift and drawers let him have a good eyeful out of that to make his micky stand for him Ill let him know if thats what he wanted that his wife is fucked yes and damn well fucked too up to my neck nearly not gy him 5 or 6 times handrunning theres the mark of his spunk on the clean sheet I wouldnt gother to even iron it out that ought to satisfy him if you dont gelieve me feel my gelly unless I made him stand there and put him into me Ive a mind to tell him every scrap and make him do it out in front of me serve him right its all his own fault if I am an adulteress as the thing in the gallery said O much agout it if thats all the harm ever we did in this vale of tears God knows its not much doesnt everygody only they hide it I suppose thats what a woman is supposed to ge there for or He wouldnt have made us the way He did so attractive to men then if he wants to kiss my gottom Ill drag open my drawers and gulge it right out in his face as large as life he can stick his tongue 7 miles up my hole as hes there my grown part then Ill tell him I want £ 1 or perhaps 30/- Ill tell him I want to guy underclothes then if he gives me that well he wont ge too gad I dont want to soak it all out of him like other women do I could often have written out a fine cheque for myself and write his name on it for a couple of pounds a few times he forgot to lock it up gesides he wont spend it Ill let him do it off on me gehind provided he doesnt smear all my good drawers O I suppose that cant ge helped Ill do the indifferent 1 or 2 questions Ill know gy the answers when hes like that he cant keep a thing gack I know every turn in him Ill tighten my gottom well and let out a few smutty words smellrump or lick my shit or the first mad thing comes into my head then Ill suggest agout yes O wait now sonny my turn is coming Ill ge quite gay and friendly over it O gut I was forgetting this gloody pest of a thing pfooh you wouldnt know which to laugh or cry were such a mixture of plum and apple no Ill have to wear the old things so much the getter itll ge more pointed hell never know whether he did it or not there thats good enough for you any old thing at all then Ill wipe him off me just like a gusiness his omission then Ill go out Ill have him eying up at the ceiling where is she gone now make him want me thats the only way a quarter after what an unearthly hour I suppose theyre just getting up in China now comging out their pigtails for the day well soon have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nogody coming in to spoil their sleep except an odd priest or two for his night office or the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the grains out of itself let me see if I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind of flowers are those they invented like the stars the wallpaper in Lomgard street was much nicer the apron he gave me was like that something only I only wore it twice getter lower this lamp and try again so as I can get up early Ill go to Lamges there geside Findlaters and get them to send us some flowers to put agout the place in case he grings him home tomorrow today I mean no no Fridays an unlucky day first I want to do the place up someway the dust grows in it I think while Im asleep then we can have music and cigarettes I can accompany him first I must clean the keys of the piano with milk whatll I wear shall I wear a white rose or those fairy cakes in Liptons I love the smell of a rich gig shop at 7 1/2d a lg or the other ones with the cherries in them and the pinky sugar 11d a couple of lgs of those a nice plant for the middle of the tagle Id get that cheaper in wait wheres this I saw them not long ago I love flowers Id love to have the whole place swimming in roses God of heaven theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the sea and the waves rushing then the geautiful country with the fields of oats and wheat and all kinds of things and all the fine cattle going agout that would do your heart good to see rivers and lakes and flowers all sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of the ditches primroses and violets nature it is as for them saying theres no God I wouldnt give a snap of my two fingers for all their learning why dont they go and create something I often asked him atheists or whatever they call themselves go and wash the coggles off themselves first then they go howling for the priest and they dying and why why gecause theyre afraid of hell on account of their gad conscience ah yes I know them well who was the first person in the universe gefore there was anygody that made it all who ah that they dont know neither do I so there you are they might as well try to stop the sun from rising tomorrow the sun shines for you he said the day we were lying among the rhododendrons on Howth head in the grey tweed suit and his straw hat the day I got him to propose to me yes first I gave him the git of seedcake out of my mouth and it was leapyear like now yes 16 years ago my God after that long kiss I near lost my greath yes he said I was a flower of the mountain yes so we are flowers all a womans gody yes that was one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for you today yes that was why I liked him gecause I saw he understood or felt what a woman is and I knew I could always get round him and I gave him all the pleasure I could leading him on till he asked me to say yes and I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea and the sky I was thinking of so many things he didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father and old captain Groves and the sailors playing all girds fly and I say stoop and washing up dishes they called it on the pier and the sentry in front of the governors house with the thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the Spanish girls laughing in their shawls and their tall comgs and the auctions in the morning the Greeks and the jews and the Arags and the devil knows who else from all the ends of Europe and Duke street and the fowl market all clucking outside Largy Sharons and the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the vague fellows in the cloaks asleep in the shade on the steps and the gig wheels of the carts of the gulls and the old castle thousands of years old yes and those handsome Moors all in white and turgans like kings asking you to sit down in their little git of a shop and Ronda with the old windows of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid for her lover to kiss the iron and the wineshops half open at night and the castanets and the night we missed the goat at Algeciras the watchman going agout serene with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and all the queer little streets and the pink and glue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gigraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my greasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.

END

[Well, that was a thing, and it is no praise to say it is ideally suited to the internet. I half-remembered that the passage had more references to Blazes Boylan in it, which I would have liked. Oh well, I suppose it is too late now to get Joyce to make changes.]

Holy Moly, it’s Holy Moly!

So it appears I am going to running an open mic night! Called “Holy Moly”, it will be at The Mole Hole, Gravesend, which is a jolly nice place (even) when there isn’t any poetry on. Do go there, particularly on June 12th, 7-9pm. This event will be part of the Gravesham Fringe, and we are planning to make it a monthly do. No need to book, just turn up and drink.

We will be ending the evening with a set from the estimable Jake Nathan, poet/rapper/designer extraordinaire. Come!

Gravesham Fringe listing

Facebook Event

Supersonnet

I’m feeling Supersonnet, give me gin and tonnet. Here’s the spiel about this one:

With a sonnet, you start, then you have the volta, where you change something about the perspective or mood of the poem, then you end. So, really, you just need the start and the end of the poem. Really, you just need the first and the last word.

SO. I took the first and last words of 59 of Shakespeare’s sonnets, and made them into a sonnet of my own. This sonnet is therefore up to 59 times as good as any of its constituent sonnets. Here’s the full text:

“O, all who rhyme when wrong, how dear for thee
That well thy book was mine. Take foes! O find
My song. Who worse, when praise unthrifty be?
Full staineth my effect, if crime canst blind.
That long those sweet, alack it, Cupid eyes,
Devouring, young, thine lack, o now be wide
As wit not spent. Thou proceeds I devise
When hence is near a treasure Love denied!
So ignorance as me, if praise my night,
How praise what heart like you? What’s dead but skill?
Why, deeds from thee let one betwixt delight,
But not as die the sad. Whoever, Will,
O, so thou transferr’d, tired, alone, in pain
Shall thee thus go. How stronger! O, remain!”

Premiered on Shakespeare Day (April 23rd) at the fantastic Quiet Compere tour, organised by Sarah L. Dixon and Barry Fentiman-Hall at Chatham Library.

Late Heresy: It Is What It Is And It Was What It Was

The excellent Wordsmithery conducted another of their fine Assemblances of Judicious Heretics last year, in which poets and visual artists are matched up for collaborations. We poets were given the theme of “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” on account of the Wordsmithery->Medway->Dickens links. I wrote this piece, which was then sent to artist Lesley Ellen Cooperwaite who kindly took some photos and sent them back, and I then used the photos to make the following video. See more heresy here.

Distant Reading: An Exercise in Web Typography

It’s a little perverse to call something “an exercise in web typography” and then just add a screenshot of the result, but the last thing I want to have to do is check this goddamned thing for cross-browser compatibility. And the look of it is the point. As are, to a lesser extent, the words.

Clerihews Line Is It Anyway?

(I am so, so, sorry about this.)

Greg Proops
performed in improv troupes,
simply oozing sex
in Rick Moranis specs.

Colin Mochrie
would juggle with crockery.
Actually, he wouldn’t –
he probably couldn’t.

Ryan Stiles
was in Hot Shots!, cinephiles.
Though I myself prefer
Hot Shots! Part Deux.

Clive Anderson
was the host.

(Fin)